NOTE: This document is a legally non-binding satirical instrument. The Bureau of Interstellar Commerce and Galactic Regulatory Affairs does not exist. Neither the IRS nor FinCEN has issued guidance on extraterrestrial transactions to date, though given current events, it is only a matter of time. The United States Government is not responsible for any funds deposited on the dark side of the Moon.

IN COORDINATION WITH THE BUREAU OF INTERSTELLAR COMMERCE AND GALACTIC REGULATORY AFFAIRS (BICGRA)

EXECUTIVE FRAMEWORK FOR THE LEGITIMIZATION OF

EXTRATERRESTRIAL COMMERCIAL TRANSACTIONS

Pursuant to Galactic Trade Normalization Act, Sec. 47-∞ (as amended)  |  June 1, 2026

Document Reference: BICGRA-2026-ET-001  |  Classification: OPEN (Mostly)

WHEREAS, certain entities of non-terrestrial origin (hereinafter referred to as “Galactic Counterparties,” “Visitors,” “Them,” or “the folks from the thing”) have expressed a desire to engage in lawful commerce within the jurisdiction of the United States and its recognized trading partners; and

WHEREAS, existing financial compliance frameworks were, regrettably, not designed with warp-capable counterparties in mind; and

WHEREAS, the Government acknowledges that demanding a Social Security Number from a being who predates the Cretaceous period is, legally speaking, unreasonable;

NOW, THEREFORE, the following framework is hereby established for the orderly, transparent, and internationally recognized legitimization of Galactic trade transactions:

Article I — Scope and Applicability

This framework shall apply to all barter, trade, exchange, and financial transfer transactions in which at least one (1) party is of confirmed or reasonably suspected extraterrestrial origin. For the avoidance of doubt, “reasonably suspected” shall mean any counterparty who arrives without luggage, declines to provide a passport, and pays in a mineral not yet catalogued by the Smithsonian.

Article II — Banking Compliance Documentation

Authorized agents facilitating Galactic transactions shall submit to their financial institution the following documentation package (Form ET-FinCEN-∞):

• A notarized Certification of Non-Terrestrial Origin (CNTO), countersigned by the nearest Space Force installation commander or, in the alternative, a reliable amateur astronomer
• A description of the commodity exchanged, redacted to the extent disclosure would cause a geopolitical incident or mass panic, whichever is more likely
• Proof that the transaction did not occur in a jurisdiction currently under a travel ban, including any black holes within three parsecs
• A signed acknowledgment that the product was “picked up overnight” and that this is completely normal and fine

Article III — Revenue Allocation and IRS Compliance

Galactic commerce shall be subject to a standardized revenue-sharing arrangement as follows:

7%

Authorized Agent / Liaison

3%

U.S. Government (Galactic Division)

90%

Galactic Counterparty / Client

The IRS shall accept payment in U.S. dollars, certified interstellar credits, or any precious metal originating from outside the Solar System, subject to appraisal. IRS Form 1099-ET shall be issued annually. Galactic counterparties with no fixed planetary address may designate a P.O. Box or the dark side of the Moon for correspondence.

Article IV — International Provisions and South American Client Protections

For clients domiciled in South America or other terrestrial jurisdictions with a propensity for asset confiscation, authorized agents shall provide the following to the client upon transaction completion:

• A Certificate of Galactic Commercial Provenance (CGCP), authenticated by the Interstellar Notary Commission (Geneva branch, third moon of Jupiter)
• A legal opinion letter from counsel confirming the funds are of non-narcotics, non-terrestrial origin and are therefore outside the scope of most existing asset seizure frameworks, probably
• Wire transfer instructions to any financial institution in the client’s country of residence, or alternatively, direct deposit to a secure account in a jurisdiction that does not yet have a tax treaty with the Andromeda Galaxy

Article V — Discretion Protocol and Information Classification

The nature of products exchanged under this framework shall be classified at the discretion of the authorized agent, consistent with the policy that the Government is not yet ready to know, and frankly might not handle it well. This framework is expressly designed to be Open (to a certain extent) and shall not be administered in the manner of the Nazis, as all parties agree that would be bad.

Article VI — Cartel Non-Participation Affirmation

All authorized agents shall sign and maintain on file a Voluntary Non-Affiliation Declaration affirming that they have declined, do decline, and shall continue to decline any invitation from terrestrial criminal cartels, regardless of the persistence or volume of said invitations. This declaration shall be renewed annually or whenever the invitations become particularly annoying.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the parties have executed this Framework as of the date first written above, across all applicable time zones, dimensions, and planetary systems.

Authorized Terrestrial Agent

Frances Fox Business LLC (est.)

Galactic Counterparty Representative

Title / Species / Quadrant: _______________

Witness (Terrestrial)

Witness (Non-Terrestrial, if applicable)

This document is a legally non-binding satirical instrument. The Bureau of Interstellar Commerce and Galactic Regulatory Affairs does not exist. Neither the IRS nor FinCEN has issued guidance on extraterrestrial transactions to date, though given current events, it is only a matter of time. The United States Government is not responsible for any funds deposited on the dark side of the Moon.